Learning to Stay Present When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan

There was a time when unexpected change would completely throw me off. If plans shifted or something didn’t go the way I envisioned, it didn’t take much for my mind to spiral. I lived in a space where things were either on track or falling apart, with very little room in between. Over the past six months, though, something has started to shift.

Through therapy, reflection, and a lot of practice, I’ve been learning how to stay present. Not perfectly, and not every time, but enough to recognize when I’m drifting and gently bring myself back. What used to feel like chaos, I’m starting to see differently. Instead of something to resist, it’s become an opportunity to pause, adjust, and trust that things will work themselves out.

With my upcoming trek to Everest Base Camp, that mindset has been tested in real time. When I first signed up for the trip, I assumed I’d be part of a larger group. Months went by, and I was still the only one registered. There was a real possibility the trip wouldn’t happen unless at least one more person joined. In the past, that kind of uncertainty would have sent me straight into panic mode, trying to figure out backup plans and worrying about what it meant financially. This time, I caught myself and chose a different approach. I reminded myself that not everything needs to be solved immediately, and that if this version of the trip didn’t work out, there would be other paths forward.

As soon as I let go of that tension, things shifted. Another person signed up, and then another. Just like that, the trip was back on, and now three of us will be heading out on this journey together. What stuck with me wasn’t just that it worked out, but that I didn’t let myself unravel while I was waiting for an answer.

Not long after that, I ran into another challenge. A global event disrupted travel routes across parts of the world, and my flights were suddenly impacted. What had been a straightforward plan to get to Asia quickly became more complicated. Again, I had a choice. I could spiral and stress over every detail, or I could adapt and focus on what I could control.

Before booking anything, I had intentionally built in extra time on both ends of the trip. At the time, it felt like a small decision, but it ended up making all the difference. I was able to adjust my flights without derailing the entire trip. The timing shifted and the route changed, but the core experience remained intact. What could have been overwhelming became manageable because I had given myself that flexibility.

That’s what I’m starting to understand more clearly now. Life is always going to throw challenges our way. Some will be small, others more significant, but not everything requires a reaction. There are things we can control, and a lot that we simply have to accept. For most of my life, I defaulted to black and white thinking, where anything outside of the plan felt like failure. Now, I’m learning that most things aren’t catastrophic, they’re just different.

When I take a step back and look at things from a wider perspective, I can see that more clearly. I don’t need to solve everything immediately, and I don’t need to carry the weight of every unknown. Sometimes, the best thing I can do is stay present and let things unfold as they will.

This is still a work in progress. There are moments where I slip back into old patterns and feel my mind racing ahead, trying to predict outcomes that haven’t happened yet. The difference now is that I notice it, and that awareness gives me a choice to come back to the present.

As I get closer to this trip, I can already feel how much it’s going to reinforce that mindset. Life on the trail has a way of slowing everything down. You focus on what’s right in front of you, the next step, the next breath, the next moment. It strips away the noise and makes it clear what actually matters and what isn’t worth your energy.

I’m not trying to control everything anymore. I’m just learning how to be here, fully present, and trust that I’ll handle whatever comes next when I get there.